no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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