and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
