just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
