a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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