she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
