Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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