her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
