is your mom at the bar?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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