weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he shaved USA in his pubs
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
