Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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