Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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