But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
