she was so not down for the gang bang
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
don't judge my taste in strippers
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
