He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
