time to smoke my breakfast
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
