wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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