yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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