Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
