Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
