wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
