she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
