I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
