Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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