careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
