You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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