what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
