I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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