Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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