so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
