I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
