it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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