4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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