An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
