I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
