why didn't you poke me back
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
