Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
