were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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