you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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