so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
