I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
