the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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