If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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