I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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