i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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