Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
