My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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