Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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