you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
worst night to have a conscience
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
