You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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