420 ftw
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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