Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
