Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
