Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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