WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
