No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
