Are we in a gay sports bar?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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