dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
